I couldn't agree more,Simon. Do not excuse the individual JW actions, they are masters at making their bad behavior someone else's fault.
It's like an abusive husband who says it's his wife's fault he hit her. JWs try to say it's the DF'd persons fault.
I am never responsible for someone else's bad behavior. But on the other hand I am always responsible for my own bad behavior. I always have a choice in how I act or respond and so do the JWs.